When I was home, I wanted to be here in Africa SO much.
Now that I'm here, I want to be home. Probably not as badly as I wanted to be in Africa before, but there are days when I dream of being home & what I will do when I get there.
What is it that makes us content with our lives, no matter where we are? Why is it that we pray and pray and pray, asking God to make something happen in our lives, and when He does, we long for something different? I know its not a physical location, but instead a location of the heart. Just when we think we've got something figured out about God, & our relationship with Him, we seem to come across something new and confusing.
I guess this is the way we grow. I guess this is the way we become closer to our Lord. We struggle, with ourselves, with others and with God himself, until one day the struggle is ended. But just around the corner another struggle awaits.
I thought life in Africa would be much more simple than life in the States... but I am coming to realize that its not at all. Yes, people live in mud huts and eat the same food, day in and day out, but they still deal with political, social garbage as well. Everywhere you turn, you are faced with corruption. The water company charges astronomically, unrealisticly high consuption amounts. The phone company takes 6 weeks to set up your phone line. People steal, lie and cheat their ways through life, because they don't believe there's any better way to live. I know life in the States is marred with the exact same downfalls, but it seems a lot easier at home to not see it on such a daily basis.
At the root of it all, whether you live in a high rise in New York, a farm house in Central Oregon, or a mud hut in Kitale, Kenya, I believe the problem is a spiritual one. What is in a man's or woman's heart, is what comes out in their lives. Even a heart transformed by the power of Jesus struggles, however. This is what I'm trying to figure out... where does true contentment come from? I believe the answer is in Jesus, but its going to take a lot more struggling to figure it out!!!
Thanks for reading.
Take care...
Love,
Alita
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5 comments:
DOES MY SISTER ROCK OR WHAT? IM SO PROUD OF YOU SANDWICH. OH, AND HAVE YOU LOST WEIGHT? YOU LOOK GREAT IN YOUR PICS... SERIOUSLY. BETTER BE CAREFUL OR YOUR GOING TO GET SWEPT UP BY SOME AFRICAN SUGAR DADDY! LOVE YOU TONS AND MISS YOU JUST AS MUCH.
Alita, you have the most beautiful heart. Thank you for opening it up to us blogger-readers who love you.
I think you're exactly right. People are the same everywhere... sin just presents itself differently. In some ways, it's more obvious in Africa - the stealing, cheating and lying - because maybe, it's a little more accepted? But in corporate America, in any profession where there is "ladder climbing," there is the same lying and cheating - with more stealth, perhaps, but it's there nonetheless.
Don't lose hope. You are making a big difference. I pray that God will open your eyes to the huge army that is fighting beside you in the spiritual realms. You are not alone.
I am SO PROUD of you!
Hey the Bear! When you get home, you'll be surprised at how you're tuned to the corruption you will see quickly here...before you hardly noticed....but then it'll jump right out at you. I've seen this with other missionaries. Being a missionary for a while breaks your provincialism down, so you see more clearly such things. It's a normal change of heart. God Bless you, beautiful! Your old PA!
I love your insightful comments, Sweet Pea, although I am not surprised by them!! You are right; and I hope that your insightfulness will help keep you balanced and positive in the months to come. I love you very, very much. You're awesome.
ps: Your brother is right-- you look great!!!
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