The pile of tissues stacked up on the living room floor as my mom & I sat and cried together for a good hour last night. It was the first time either one of us had really allowed our emotions to let go since my decision a few months ago to leave for 2 years. I expressed my sadness over missing out on family stuff for two years. She expressed her sadness over losing me and losing out on 2 years of my life. She said she felt like her right arm was being cut off...which, of course made me cry more.
I find it interesting that my deep love for family is actually driving me to leave my family for 2 years. It is for the sake of families on the other side of the world that I'm abandoning my own family--& it doesn't make a lot of sense. But I've been learning over the past few years that sometimes being a follower of Christ causes situations in our lives that don't make a lot of sense. Logic doesn't always fit into a life that strives to follow Jesus. If we knew everything & it all made sense, then I guess there'd be no God. In that case, I'm glad that not everything makes sense! I'm sure this is a good concept to keep in mind as I prepare to enter a world that won't make very much sense to me at all.
So please, continue to pray. For my family & me, but most of all for the families that need hope on the other side of the world. (and if you do buy stock in kleenex...you should use it to help others in need!!! :) )
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4 comments:
Chica,
It is quite a step you are making. It was hard enough for me to leave home for college...and I was only moving to Bend!!! I couldnt imagine the reaction of my mother if I was going to be away for 2 years. She was terribly sad when I moved from home into town with Ric, 5 min away! lol...Kudos to you and your mother and rest of family for being so brave and so selfless. You amaze me with all you do Alita, and I look up to you, always have. God will, and has, bless you in all you do! Love ya always,
Manda Sue
God bless you, Alita, and your sweet mom. You are both living out Matthew 19:29: "And everyone who has left houses or brothers or sisters or father or mother... for my sake will receive a hundred times as much AND will inherit eternal life." A double blessing. You will keep your wonderful family and gain hundreds of others! And then there's that eternal life thing... that's pretty cool too! I am praying for you all. Barbie
I think the Lord loves irony. What you said about loving your own family so much that you want to help other families, even at the cost of leaving your own, made it even more clear to me why you are going, Most Beloved Daughter. My prayer right now is that the next 24 months seem to fly by as fast as the last 24 have; but that they are filled with accomplished goals and realized dreams for you.
Alita, just wanted to let you know that I was on today checking for more posts...9/9/05...see you soon!!lovey ya, amanda
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