Hey there! Well, I have decided to officially close this blog about my adventure in Africa. It has been awesome & amazing to share with you through this medium. Thank you for reading & commenting.
I have started a new blog through my myspace account. Non-myspacers are welcome too! : ) Check it out at blog.myspace.com/alitaluree.
I do not see my career as a missionary as coming to an end. I see it as just beginning.
May God bless you abundantly!
Saturday, January 13, 2007
Wednesday, January 03, 2007
journal entry 2.1.07
Yesterday I hung out at my brother's Starbucks, waiting for a friend to call about an apartment. Here's what came to mind as I journaled:
Last night I was so tired-- so,so tired. I felt overwhelmed with everything. I was mad & sad, but mostly tired. I feel like I have been tired since I've been back- for the last 2 months- feeling disconnected, like I'm just floating with no purpose. My analytical mind wants to pick this apart and make sense of it all. One option could be that I, after a year of working extremely hard for a cause with a huge amount of purpose, am feeling a huge let down. Now that I think of it, that is probably exactly it. As I was coming home [from Africa] I thought a job at Starbucks was exactly what I needed- that was my way of letting down, finding a no brainer job & "relaxing". Aside from the point that a job at Sbucks will not pay the bills for me, between student loans, a car payment & insurance, I think that doing anything now that isn't remotely like what I did in Kenya will not be satisfying. I have affirmed (once again) my passion [and my calling] for serving others- so deep that I have to do it. No questions about it!
Now that I've established that, I just wish I could handle the transitions between my "serving" a little bit better. I do suppose, though, that this specific transition, by nature is destined to be more difficult. Too many differences to describe (between Africa & here) and even if I attempted, who could understand?
I believe the greatest gift of my faith so far has been that even in times like this, when everything feels unstable, even spiritually, I know that Jesus is still my rock- He is still here, in spite of me. And that is the most stability a girl could ask for! <3 ~A
PS- Update! I found a great apartment in Oregon City today, thanks to my great friends, Ryan & Meridith (Lundy) Foley! And I also had two very good job interviews- one w/the Boy's & Girl's Club, and one with an insurance brokerage. I'm awaiting more news from them in the coming days. Yeah! Thanks for your prayers!! :)
Last night I was so tired-- so,so tired. I felt overwhelmed with everything. I was mad & sad, but mostly tired. I feel like I have been tired since I've been back- for the last 2 months- feeling disconnected, like I'm just floating with no purpose. My analytical mind wants to pick this apart and make sense of it all. One option could be that I, after a year of working extremely hard for a cause with a huge amount of purpose, am feeling a huge let down. Now that I think of it, that is probably exactly it. As I was coming home [from Africa] I thought a job at Starbucks was exactly what I needed- that was my way of letting down, finding a no brainer job & "relaxing". Aside from the point that a job at Sbucks will not pay the bills for me, between student loans, a car payment & insurance, I think that doing anything now that isn't remotely like what I did in Kenya will not be satisfying. I have affirmed (once again) my passion [and my calling] for serving others- so deep that I have to do it. No questions about it!
Now that I've established that, I just wish I could handle the transitions between my "serving" a little bit better. I do suppose, though, that this specific transition, by nature is destined to be more difficult. Too many differences to describe (between Africa & here) and even if I attempted, who could understand?
I believe the greatest gift of my faith so far has been that even in times like this, when everything feels unstable, even spiritually, I know that Jesus is still my rock- He is still here, in spite of me. And that is the most stability a girl could ask for! <3 ~A
PS- Update! I found a great apartment in Oregon City today, thanks to my great friends, Ryan & Meridith (Lundy) Foley! And I also had two very good job interviews- one w/the Boy's & Girl's Club, and one with an insurance brokerage. I'm awaiting more news from them in the coming days. Yeah! Thanks for your prayers!! :)
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